Staff

This is your fearless leader, Sarah the Cumbersome. I earned my title by falling over, under, and getting stuck in countless things as well as sufficiently annoying the majority of the Columbus community at some point in time. I enjoy Jalapeño Cheetoes and Mountain Dew. If I am M.I.A, you can often find me at Wal-Mart, Taco Bell and in the Tenn-Tom River at what may or may not be illegal times of night. When writing, I can be found at the Huddle House on Military hunched over my laptop with an order of biscuits and sausage gravy and coffee. Do NOT visit me there – it has Ethernet and bacon, and the sole reason I go there instead of the library/computer lab/my actual office, is because people don’t bother me there (and there is bacon).

As managing editor, I’m the human shield the staff uses against our “fearless leader.” I generally listen to any and all complaints the staff has and try to intercept Sarah’s ammo before it hits them. When writing, I’m usually hunched over my computer at 3 a.m. I’m a night owl and my brain doesn’t wake up until midnight. So, I use copious amounts of caffeine to fake awareness during the day. A self-proclaimed intellectual snob, I have little patience for ignorant people. I’m all right with that, although my rants about the declining rate of intelligence repeat pretty often. I’m WAY too involved on campus and the second I find a time machine I’m going to tell my sixth-grade self to be a slacker and ignore those pesky sign-up lists when they’re passed around. Of course, I probably wouldn’t ever have gotten into college if I had been a slacker, so instead I’ll just use the time machine to play tricks on people.

Too many years in school and too much in debt, I’m almost done and out of college! I’m slightly rotund and not very pretty. I like to cook and write and read and not use commas in lists. I like to rant and rave and make people angry, but in a nice, polite way. Though semi-educated, I still enjoy using words like “ain’t” and “sucks” in my newspaper writing. I’m now stretching to find more comments to make about myself to fill the desired length by my editor. I don’t much like talking about myself because I don’t really find myself entertaining anymore and not nearly as much as I did when I was a child. I was a pretty crafty kid, actually. I wish I could write about that Casey Parkman, not this one. This one kind of sucks. (This is the Spectator staff. We love Casey. We took a vote. It’s unanimous. He does not suck.)

I’m Alison, and I’m a sophomore psychology major from California. Whatever. I know you don’t care. It’s OK because I don’t really care where you’re from either. Anyway, here at The Spectator, I get to be obnoxious by correcting other people’s grammar and get paid for it. It’s the perfect release. I’ll try anything once. I can find a way to get myself kicked out of just about anything and I love late night food runs. My favorite foods include anything from Hogarth Dining Hall, gas station nachos and instant coffee. I make the world’s greatest smoothies and a pretty bomb taco salad. I enjoy avoiding homework at all possible costs, updating my Facebook status, and drinking orange soda. I dislike stopping at stop signs, writing in blue ink, and enduring people who breathe or chew with their mouths open. I’m former Spectator columnist Sam Bartell’s biggest fan (you should be too), and I like to write blurbs as if I’m better than everyone, even though I’m really only better than about half of you.

I’m a senior History major at the W and mainly took this job because my partner in crime, Aaren “The Green Bodhisattva” Twedt decided to relocate to the frozen wasteland of Juneau, Alaska. This left me with even more free time than I usually had, and I decided to spend it sitting in meetings, rolling around on chairs with wheels, and messing around with the guts of computers in the office. I was born in Bitburg, Germany in a hospital powered by a brewery, and raised in Fayette, Alabama. I went to a high school that had 400 students, K-12, with a graduating class of 25. Three or four of our teachers were W alumni and threatened to beat me with rulers if I didn’t apply here, and since they are very intimidating women, I ended up at the W. There are thousands of things that bring me great joy, like walking around in the wind and rain, reading historical articles, painting miniatures badly, and spotting absolutely terrible analogies (I love terrible analogies – they are beautiful constructions.) I’ve heard there are no uninteresting subjects, so I try to be interested in a little bit of everything. I have years of practice saying, “Oh, wow, that’s really neat” at every subject under the sun, and I’ve found it’s generally true – almost anything is pretty neat if you approach it with an open mind.

I am 24 and originally from San Francisco, Calif. I am a Culinary Arts major who is minoring in Food Art. I moved to this quaint little town because I finally decided what I wanted to do when I grow up, even though I grew up two years ago. I love Sour Skittles, blue Monsters, pickles and pretty much anything on a stick. I am vegetarian. A vegetarian from California, who would have thought? I am a self proclaimed-wine nerd. I think that even a nice TV dinner can be made special by a well-aged cab. I am a classically trained cellist who decided playing the bass would get me more guys. I played in a punk band in LA for two years and have lots and lots of stories if you have the time and a strong stomach. I took the job as graphics coordinator because I have always been interested in design and it looks really good on a résumé.

I am a Senior Culinary Arts major graduating in May. Yaaa!!! I am the newest member of the unique and interesting Spectator crew. My job is to give you my opinion of the movies you think you want to see or the restaurants you think you want to try. Although I am technically from Mississippi, I consider myself a drifter of sorts. I’ve lived in Kansas, Virginia, South Carolina and the “great” state of Mississippi. I can’t wait to graduate from college and get a job that has nothing to do with my major. I am usually hanging out with those wonderful ladies of Z Phi B or in my room watching Disney Channel. I am proud to be an over-committer - it seems to be the only time I remain sane. Whether it’s choir (U! H!), Zeta or the newly added Spectator, I am always on the run. And I actually do mean “run” because my poor little Kia is out of commission. However, if you see me sprinting across this little campus don’t be afraid to say hi during one my crazy days.

Photos by
Sarah Wilson